Stewardship of Marriage

Stewardship 

I love the term stewardship. Every time I hear it, it pricks my heart to listen a little closer. I know that Heavenly Father has given me, and all of us, responsibility over certain aspects of our lives. My favorite examples are our time, money, and talents. But there are several others, including our marriages and the sexual relationship within that marriage. Elder Cook explains stewardship this way, “This feeling of accountability, which is encompassed by the first great commandment to love God, has been described by some as “obedience to the unenforceable.” We try to do what is right because we love and want to please our Father in Heaven, not because someone is forcing us to obey.” (1) I appreciated this thought, especially as it connects to sexual relationships. To be extremely clear, stewardship does not mean we have sex because someone is forcing us. It means we try to do what is right, because we love our Heavenly Father and our spouses. I personally know several people for whom sex just doesn’t come easily. This mindset gives me, and them, a peace of mind. It’s within our stewardship to try, to do our best and put forth every effort to make it right. But it is not required to do things we’re uncomfortable with, especially when forced or coerced.

Infidelity 

The flip side, of course, is pursuing a relationship outside of marriage. In my own marriage, we have agreed to not have secrets. We tell each other everything, even the uncomfortable stuff. For example, I once had a gentleman approach me with interest while I was out with some friends. I politely told him I was married. At first, I worried about how my husband would respond. I almost didn’t want to tell him. Nothing had happened, it wasn’t a big deal. But I gulped down my concerns and told him anyway. He appreciated my honesty and thought the whole situation was funny. We still laugh about it sometimes. We had another experience where a woman contacted my husband in an online community. At first it was innocent and they talked about a mutual interest. But then she began becoming more and more forward, until she was outright inappropriate in their conversations. Little did she know, he’d been showing me the messages the entire time. The first time I replied to her instead of my husband, she never bothered to contact him again. It’s extremely important to build trust, set boundaries, and be honest. These are the safeguards to infidelity, emotional or physical. 

Pornography 

Of course, Satan has made it so easy for us to stray. Filth can come into our homes, if we’re not diligent, through the very devices meant to serve us. Computers, cell phones, and tablets all have inherent risks. In addition to trust, boundaries and honesty that I mentioned above, I feel pornography requires additional defenses. We have done everything in our power to secure our devices with filters and other content blockers. We are extremely careful with our media choices, especially shows, movies or books that might even just plant a seed of inappropriate desire. We also work diligently on our relationships with our Heavenly Father. It is important to us to have the Spirit in our home. This way, when evil tries to seep in, we can feel the difference. Also trusting the Holy Ghost, we can avoid things that may cause problems. It’s important to recognize the risks and protect ourselves in every way possible.

I know that as we take our marriage stewardship seriously and care for it with love, we will live happier, more secure, and spiritual lives. I know Heavenly Father protects those that are intent and purposeful.          

1.  Stewardship- a Sacred Trust, General Conference Oct 2009