The Marriage Mindset

My Mindset

I was raised by parents and grandparents that were strongly committed to marriage. My parents promised themselves when they got married they would

never consider divorce as an option.

As far as I know, they’ve kept that commitment. I’ve never felt the weight of concern for my family breaking apart, I always knew my parents would be together.

But as we skip my generation, (since myself and all my siblings are in committed marriages,) and look into my parents’ grandchildren we see a different pattern. Many of my younger family members don’t feel concern for the importance of marriage. One in early twenties has been divorced already, one is currently cohabiting with a partner, and one cohabitated for several years with a partner before committing to marriage. I continue to see the breakdown as my family unfolds.

What has made the difference? These children were also raised by committed, dedicated parents. They also have examples of strong marriages in both sets of their  grandparents. What has made the difference in their marriage mindset?

The Current Mindset

My family members are certainly not alone. Many young Americans are abandoning the ideals of previous generations and squeezing the concept of marriage out of their lives. They choose to cohabitate, possibly have children together, and never commit to the relationship legally. Or they simply put off family life all together in favor of lifestyle.

I believe this shift is partly due to the scare-tactic of statistics. Even I was raised knowing “50% of all marriages end in divorce”. I think our younger generations are choosing to not gamble on it, and simply skip it altogether.  

I can’t be a statistic if I don’t play the game.

Instead, I’ll live with someone to test it out. Or travel the world with my freedom. There are so many other options, but none of them provide what marriage provides.

The Marriage Mindset

In 2006, Elder Russel M Nelson stated, “Marriage brings

greater possibilities for happiness

than does any other human relationship.” (1) Marriage cannot be replaced by anything else, including cohabitating. No matter how the world’s views change and popular opinion differ, the truth remains that,“marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” (2) Marriage is also essential to society. In 2003, Rick Santorum, United States Senator from Pennsylvania adds, “Marriage is one of those truths that is important for the foundation of any healthy society. Marriage promotes the common good by building families and raising children. Looking at marriage in general, from the utilitarian perspective, there is no question that marriage is good for society: Children, women, and men all benefit enormously.” (3)   

We must protect the deteriorating Marriage Mindset. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I do believe deeply and actively in the family. I believe we must continue to teach our children the truth about marriage, that it can be happy and hard at the same time. We must teach them the importance of working on something, rather than discarding it. We must teach them the value that only can be accomplished for society, and for their personal lives, through marriage.

1-Nurturing Marriage, Elder Russel M Nelson, Liahona (05/2006)  

2- The Family, a Proclamation to the World (lds.org)

3-The Necessity of Marriage, The Heritage Foundation, 10/2003 https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/the-necessity-marriage