Love Map and Memories

The Love Map

I had mixed feelings about this week's reading. Having been married for nearly 10 years, the idea of a love map made perfect sense. Sometimes I wonder if I can still recall all the details of my husbands life like I could have when we were dating. I was a pro then, for sure. But now I’m busy with our two children, my schoolwork and my own life. I don’t keep as up to date on his as I should. I’m looking forward to improving that mindset. It also helped me to visualize an actual map, full of detail in every direction. Sometimes I feel like I get very caught up in one area, and completely neglect other areas I could flesh out more fully. There is so much scope to uncover from another person. All the surface stuff, like how they like their salad and which music they like, and deeper things like how they feel, what scares them, and what they aspire to. It's important to know both.

Past Memories

The part I had a struggle with was recalling past, happy memories from the beginning of the relationship. That’s a big challenge for me, personally. My husband and I met in high school, we were friends for several years, dating other people. Once we began dating, it was simple, not overly romantic. We were already close friends, it just progressed. There were no grand overtures, no big romantic gestures. Sometimes I regret that we didn't put in more effort. I hear about all the trouble boys go through to ask out girls and I feel a little left out. It wasn't a lot of trouble, it wasn't even a second thought for us. When we got engaged, it was against the will of both of our families, which made our engagement horrible. Sometimes I feel that our earliest memories aren’t my fondest. Our marriage actually started under a lot of strain. So, in my personal situation, I don’t agree with the notion of “remembering better times” from the beginning. We have had our good times in my marriage, for sure. I just don’t think they are the same good times most people experience.